Sunday, August 22, 2010

Life B.D./A.D.

Six months ago today, on February 22 our lives changed forever.

Unlike many of the amazing families of T1 kids that were diagnosed as baby and toddlers, T was diagnosed about three weeks before his 13th Birthday. Many of them don't know what it is like to parent a child without T1. They all have my deep love and respect, I am so grateful that I can still remember what life was like Before Diabetes. (B.D.)

B.D. poker was a game that I taught my kids and never won again, not a little torture device that is used to stab his finger to keep him healthy.

B.D. the only time I ever thought about "BG" (stands for blood glucose) was for the two seconds it took me to change the radio station every time a BeeGee song came on. (Sorry fans it is something about that nasally high pitch voice that drives me bonkers!)

B.D. we took for granted the CraZy freedom of going out for dinner and eating mexican food and ice cream in one night, or going out for pizza and to a movie with popcorn and candy without calculating, weighing and SWAGging the carb counts and insulin dosage and then worrying and checking all night about how it will effect his blood sugar.

B.D. T would run in the house dirty, laughing, exhausted from riding bikes and playing outside with his brother and sister and grab a couple of cookies and a huge glass of milk and swig it down. Without even thinking twice about it. Without worrying about a low blood sugar from the activity and without calculating carbs.

B.D. a pump was a part that went out in our Ford diesel truck that cost us about $1200, I shouldn't have complained, it was cheap compared to T's.

B.D. a "Square" was a shape like a box, and a "dual wave" would have been two waves in a row on the lake or ocean. Not scientific methods of delivering insulin with a pump over an extended period of time to help deal with high fat foods.

B.D. "diabetus" was a word I associated with the grumpy, kinda cool old guy on the Liberty Medical Supply commercial and not the disease that almost claimed our boys life.

B.D. I remember what it was like to let him play or work outside all day long and only worry about a sunburn. And to hug him goodnight every night and only worry about nightmares and migraines, not serious low blood sugars and worse.

T does too. He remembers. He knows "what he is missing." He knows what life was like B.D. There has been grief, sadness, anger, fear. Some days, there still is. Dealing with my own feelings is hard, watching our son deal with his has been harder. There has also been, strength, grace, courage, emotional and spiritual growth, maturity, compassion and LOVE.

Life After Diabetes (A.D.) is a work in progress.

There has been an immediate sense of "prioritization". Life issues are much easier to categorize according to importance.

A.D. There is less sleep and more productive worrying. I use to worry about things I couldn't change or didn't know. I still worry, but my worry helps me stay vigilant and focused.

A.D. We are more aware of what we eat and our health. More appreciative of how incredible our bodies are and how they work.

A.D. We are more aware of time and how fast it is going by. How fast life can change. How to be more grateful and appreciative. More compassionate, less judgmental. More aware and less hurried.

A.D. We have an met an entire amazing network and support system of T1 families and people affected by T1. People I can't imagine my life without now.

A.D. We are closer. Stronger. Life after Diabetes is becoming life with diabetes. And we are LIVING it.


  1. Awesome post.


    Thanks for the encouraging's such a blessing to share this journey with moms like you.

  2. April...I love the format of this post and the humor..the "poker", the "pump", the "square-wave", the "dual-wave"....most of all I love your insight and honesty.

    I am sorry that you are on this journey with us, but in the same thought am thankful as well. It is you and the others that keep me going with a smile, knowing I am part of an amazing group of women.

  3. Bless your heart. That made me laugh and cry. And I love that you said "diabetus" because my husband always jokes about the way the old guy says that too...

  4. There are no words that can express how gifted your Dad and I are to have been blessed with you and your family. Your posts are incredible and I can see from others how not only are you not on this journey alone but also how much help you and T are to all those that are on this journey with you. It always has amazed us how you are able to take negatives and make them positives. The knowledge that you have been able to pass on to all of us to help us understand what you and so many others are going through is incredible. The courage that you and expecially T has shown is going to come around ten fold. The trials that T has gone through with your help show just how incredible he and your family are. Through T's courage to take on the Clinical trial he will be able to help so many. Thanks for letting us be a part of this journey with all of you. Loves

  5. This was a wonderful post and I can completely relate. Although my girls were diagnosed with T1 when they were 18 months old and 2 years old, I still remember the freedom that life before diabetes gave us...and I miss it a lot!

  6. Thank you all. And Mom, I had the best example ever! We wouldn't be where we are without your support.

  7. Beautifully said April Ann~
    Tyler was one month shy of his 14th BD when he was dx. He knows about life before and at times he still mourns for the life that is no more. Having to think about things that rob you of the simpleness of childhood, and always having to be concerned about numbers, lows, and things like did I exercise hard today.

    I too am grateful for life before diabetes...
    and walk with grace now with T1...

  8. Great post! It is amazing all the little things we took for granted before diabetes but one thing is for sure, we are stronger (if not more tired)! I too find so much comfort in all the support from all the other D-moms and knowing I am not alone in all this (not that I like that other families have to go through this too, but you know!)

    Anyhow, when you find out how make and grab the cool buttons, let me know, kay ;-)

  9. How in the world did I miss this post???? I'm so glad I clicked over to check if I missed anything. Amazing post my dear friend! I know how much life has changed for you and your family, but I know how truely awesome T is, and he is handling this like a prize fighter. You are an inspiration. I want to be you when I grow up. Love you dear friend, and again, GREAT post!


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