"Mommy, my legs feel scared...."

Today might have been one of those days that changes our lives forever. One of those days we never forget and sends our life on a whole new path. Or it might have been a random fluke, a weird, scary, rotten reminder of the deep fear we all carry about Type 1 diabetes and siblings.


This morning T's little sister L was tough to wake up. Incredibly unusual for a girl who is in love with Kindergarten and her new teacher. She has been battling a mild virus, a stuffy nose, no cough, no fever kind of virus. She was pretty much over it, I never kept her home from school, it was hardly noticeable and didn't bother her. It was oddly similar to the type of virus T had three weeks or so before he was diagnosed. I thought maybe she was hard to wake because her virus had returned and worsened. She would wake up and then dose off, she was soaked in sweat and completely not herself.


It wasn't until she looked at me and said; "Mommy, my legs feel scared," that my stomach sunk, my heart broke and I felt the panic rising. She held up her arms to me and she was shaking terribly. I looked at T and he was all ready heading to the kitchen to get the meter, poker and test strips. Poke. 5,4,3,2,1... 41. Juice. 15 min. 61. Juice. 15 min 81. Oatmeal and cheese. (I know not the best choice for BG, I wasn't thinking very coherently). In the meant time she was drowsy, we could wake her and ask questions and she would respond and then fall immediately back to sleep. She was 145 an hour after breakfast.


I called T's Endo and asked for advice. After some deliberation about where to go and with L continuing to be very sleepy, we chose the ER with the Endo's pager number in hand. We arrived at the ER and they took us straight back and paged the Endo to get orders for blood work. Her blood sugar was 208 at 11 am in the hospital with small ketones by urine. We put in an IV and waited for the blood lab work to return. She was back to herself at this point. By 1:00 she was hungry. We tested her BG and she was 54. She ate a good lunch and then we waited some more. Her blood sugars were between 90-100 the rest of the afternoon.


The test results are inconclusive. So far everything we know is positive. Her A1C was 5.4. A good indication that her sugars haven't been too high for any period of time, it also indicates that if she has been having hypoglycemic episodes (low blood sugars), they have not been occurring for very long. A "normal" A1C is between 5.0-6.0. Her blood was negative for ketones, indicating that she has insulin available in her body. The ketones in her urine were probably from fasting overnight. We made a collaborative decision with the Endo, the ER Dr,. and us to go home. We will be monitoring her blood sugars and activities. Over the last few weeks L has said that her legs felt scared a few times, I didn't make the connection. There have been other things as well, but it is difficult to say if it is symptoms or coincidence, or fear and paranoia. If she has any more episodes of hypoglycemia she will be admitted to the hospital for observation and to create a low blood sugar, in order to do lab work while it is happening, hoping to result in some answers.


Our other two children were tested in April for anti-autoantibodies for Type 1 diabetes and both were negative, indicating that their chance for developing T1 was unlikely. That can change at anytime. Our immune systems can create anti-autobodies at anytime, increasing the risk of developing T1. Sometimes a virus triggers this change. Our local hospital was unable to do these tests. We are getting the paperwork together and will be having her retested for anti-autobodies this week. A negative result should mean that her chances of T1 are slim, a positive could indicate that she is in the early phase of developing T1.


I am too exhausted to post about how I feel. The fear, the anger, the HOPE. I know we can handle anything-I just hope we don't have to.